Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Meetings Tomorrow

I have two important meetings scheduled for tomorrow: First with the surgeon, then with my endocrinologist. I'm going to try to get a list going, so all my major questions are on one page, since I would otherwise no doubt forget some key point. I'll ask about the option of getting a 2nd opinion, tho I don't really see how I can ignore an initial diagnosis of "You probably have cancer." Even if I got a result back saying all was clear (unlikely), I'd still wonder if I was doing more harm than good to my body by ignoring that first diagnosis. I think I know what the doctors are going to tell me, based on what I've heard from people who have been thru this process, but rather than speculate now, I'll wait until I get the lowdown tomorrow, and will list the highlights here.
So far the worst thing about all this has been the stress of imagining what might happen. Logically I expect that this time 6 months from now all will be well and I'll feel stronger for going thru this experience. But right now I'm just sifting thru a lot of feelings - mainly anticipation of all the things that could go wrong. A dumb and useless thought process, but impossible to avoid completely. Check out Daniel Gilbert's TED Talk link to the right there for an idea of what I'm using to battle these insecure thoughts. It's helping. So is making myself eat even tho I'm stressed out and have no appetite. Next step: keeping my body exercised so it's better prepared to weather the coming storm!


  1. I think it's great you've started a blog about it. And please, not to be confused with, "this is all wicked cool", thank you.

    It'll an oulet, on multiple levels, all important. I'm not actually in the Bay, but I'm here for you. And I'll be in the Bay. And I'll be there for you.

  2. Thanks, dude. Drink a ton of beer for me down there.

  3. Hey you! You've already outlasted Kodachrome and you'll outlast me. Daily dose? Well y'know, I've been doing the same thing with toothpast for 60 years. Every day! I take it with me on backpacks. I take it with me to Prague. And your voice will always be quite nice because of the words it forms.